WAIT- Why Am I Talking?
One way to succeed is to start by listening.
Learning to listen is the gateway to understanding and is one of the easiest to learn and use.
If you train yourself to be a great listener you gain an understanding and a sense of deliberateness to any conversation.
Listening is hearing but it also takes knowing how to listen to what is being said. And when we do properly listen, we empower the other person to communicate with us and show that his or her message has been heard. But knowing how to listen also means asking questions, being attentive and a willingness to understand.
For those of you who have never used the power of listening here is a snapshot:
Summarize what you just heard
Keep it basic and simple. Summarize using key words that you just heard or words of your own when you want to make sure you understand what was said. It reduces the bulk of information and loose information into bite-size pieces. Do it as often as you feel necessary and keep notes to refer back to when needed. Summarizing replays information and lets people know that they have been heard. It works both ways. “Let me see if I correctly heard what you said”
Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Especially when what you have just heard felt vague and unclear. Let he/she know that you are trying to understand them and it is very likely that someone else is just as confused as you are. Get into the habit of asking open-ended questions:
• What questions – gives definition “What are the reasons for your decision?”
• Which questions – prioritizes information “Which one is most important to you?”
• Why questions – offer the strategy behind decision “Can you explain why this is so important?”
Acknowledge them now and then
A nod now and then is actually quite powerful and legitimizes that you are listening but don’t over do it. Acknowledging someone does not mean that you are agreeing with them.
Understand them
Listening alone does not complete a communication cycle. It must also be understood. Suggest what the party is expressing is not only worth saying but also worth listening to. Ask them to tell you more. You will have a friend for life.
Encourage next steps
This create a bridge in your next communication cycle and establishes how you want to be communicated to as well. “This has clarified a lot, can we talk further about it if necessary?”
nobs: The benefits of listening:
- organizes information
- provides an overview
- integrates old and new information
- provides a non-threatening way for dealing with resistance.
You will learn to hear what is not being spoken because emotion fuels what is behind the words and often reveals real needs and interests. Remember, this is not an interrogation. You will be amazed with a little practice how easy and effective it is and how much information you will walk away with.
And don’t be afraid to be the agent of reality. Someone has to do it.
